Communication with Clients

I work for a company where most of our business is done online or through email. Because of this, I sometimes get ridiculous awesome tidbits like this! I like to save the funnier correspondence with our clients to share it with friends and family so others can join in the hilarity.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of our hilarious and IQ-challenged clients*


1. I've been hit with all the charges for this service and I have gotten to point I don't which end is up and I'm having bout of Diarrhea and so I need someone to talk to.
2. I would appreciate a prompt response to my request, so that I can either close the cover of this very bad novel with a happy ending or start the final chapter with drama and suspense.
3. "Jennifer’s computer doesn’t have out Outlook, so we are unable to e-mail the original PDF through her hotmail. I’m sending a scanned copy with my computer. This computer has outlook to auto send the PDF file. If you have anymore PDF file please send them to this e-mail address instead."
And then he attached a JPG.
4. Some people, like myself, who know nothing about tax return filing, are handicapped, in a sense, and need to be spoon fed; however I have other skills, so I don't really feel defensive about my shortcomings.
Again, thank you. May the Universal Creative Force be with you, and may you flourish and prosper in your life, in business, the arts, and romance.
5. It is our socialist S.S. who if you don't play their drug/control games they attempt to destroy any ability to be independent.
6. Wicked persons in gov't. and med jobs in my local have falsified and endangered my life for years NOT wanting me to be able to work and be independent from their control and profit. It is the great Socialist System that does not give us what you are told!
7. All the mileage figures is figures after the mileage is figured.

1-26-11 Goiting.MOD

Letter to Lincoln

Dear Lincoln,

Today is December 30th. You are 2 and a half months old and getting more and more fun by the day! You are just becoming so alert and smiley all the time! When you wake up in the morning, you don't cry, you just sort of gurgle and grunt around until I wake up and I can tell you are ready for the day. As soon as I look at you, you get the biggest smile on your face! You just love to be awake!

I've never met anyone who fights sleep like you! It is the biggest struggle to get you to sleep. As soon as you start falling asleep, you pop your eyes open as if you are refusing to let in. Then, if we do actually get you to sleep, you usually sleep for about a half hour and then wake up. Then, if we try to get you back to sleep, you just give us a huge grin. It's the cutest thing in the world! The good news is, you usually aren't too grumpy, but sometimes you just get soooo tired from fighting your sleep that you just need a good cry. Those times are pretty few and far between though. We are quite blessed that you are such a good baby!

Here are some of my favorite things about this stage:
-One of my favorite things is watching you learn. Your eyes are so intelligent and you just take in the world as if you don't want to miss a thing. Two of your favorite things to stare at are the letters on the wall in your nursery that dad painted, and the wall-hang with the Celtic knots on it that Grandpa Lewis brought home from Wales.
-You are still my little cuddle bug. You just want to be held the whole day long. It's frustrating sometimes, but at the same time it's my favorite part of the day when I can just hold you. You love to be in your little baby sling, cuddled against my chest. When I need to walk Mayzie, I put you in that sling and put a hoodie around both of us and you love it. I could take you anywhere, as long as you are in the sling, you are happy! Sometimes when you are fighting sleep, I put you in the sling and just stand and read. It calms you down and you go right to sleep.
-Your chin is ticklish. Every time I kiss you or wipe spit-up off your chin, you think it's so funny! I would love to just tickle your chin the whole day to get smiles from you!
-You are just so happy! Sometimes when we are smiling and playing, you get so happy that you double over! It's the cutest thing!
-You have discovered your hands. You love to play with your fingers- especially while you are eating. Also, while you are being held, you usually will hold onto the neckline of the shirt of whoever is holding you.

I love you the most, my baby boy! I am so blessed that you're mine!
Love,
Your mom